When Success Costs You Your Sanity:
Stress Management Strategies for High-Achieving Women Who Want More Than Just to Cope
More Than Just Holding It All Together
If you’re a high-achieving woman, an executive, a leader, or an entrepreneur, there’s a good chance you’ve mastered the art of pushing through. You’ve figured out how to carry weight others can’t even see, keep the pace, meet expectations, and still show up with a smile.
But if you're honest, you’re also probably tired. The kind of tired that sleep doesn't fix.
Behind that exhaustion? Stress. Chronic, relentless, cumulative stress.
I’m not here to tell you to “just relax” or that bubble baths and deep breathing are enough. As a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach trained in Sleep, Stress Management, and Recovery, I help high-performing women develop real strategies that work in real life, not just theories.
Let’s talk about how to stop coping and start building a resilient, well-regulated life.
Recognize the Cost of Chronic Stress (And Stop Normalizing It)
It is time to call out industry and life norms that are quite literally killing people. I am no exception… I am a workaholic (in recovery). Executives experience a specific type of stress: performance-based, responsibility-heavy, and identity-bound. That means your stress isn’t just about long hours. It’s also about the pressure to meet unspoken expectations and never drop the ball.
Here’s the catch:
Just like with money, we often don’t realize how we’re “spending” our energy and time until we take an honest look at it. Most of us are living in a cycle of reaction, responding to stress, urgency, and pressure, without pausing to audit why we feel so depleted.
If you want to create real change, you must start with awareness. You can’t manage what you don’t measure.
This reflection isn’t about judgment. It’s about gathering data, so you can make informed decisions about how to support yourself.
Let’s break it down:
Where is your stress coming from?
Be specific. What’s taking the biggest toll on your mental, emotional, or physical capacity?
Examples:
The constant pressure to be “on” and available for everyone
The invisible workload at home that no one else seems to notice
Overcommitting out of guilt or habit
Trying to control outcomes that aren’t yours to carry
Lack of clarity around boundaries at work
Try this: Set a timer for 3 minutes and do a brain dump. Write down everything that’s been stressing you lately, big or small. Then, circle the 2–3 things you can influence or change.
Where is it showing up in your body and behavior?
Stress doesn’t just live in your mind. It shows up in your body. Your nervous system will find a way to express it.
Examples:
Headaches or jaw tension
Digestive issues (bloating, constipation, or irregular appetite)
Trouble falling or staying asleep
Racing thoughts or hypervigilance (this is one of mine)
Short fuse with coworkers or loved ones
Feeling numb or disconnected
Ask yourself: What’s my body trying to tell me that I’ve been ignoring?
What biofeedback signals are you ignoring?
Biofeedback is your body’s built-in reporting system. These signals are incredibly valuable, but most high achievers have learned to override them in the name of productivity. I know that I have. I have often acknowledged that I have a toxic relationship with productivity. I am aware of it and can keep that at bay, but in times of high demand or what my nervous system perceives as survival, I default right back into needing to be productive.
Start paying attention to your:
Sleep Quality
Are you waking up refreshed or more exhausted?
Do you fall asleep easily or toss and turn?
Are you relying on melatonin, wine, or screen time to shut down?
Mood
Are you anxious, irritable, snappy, or emotionally flat?
Do small problems feel overwhelming?
Energy
Do you crash mid-afternoon?
Do you feel wired but tired?
Do you rely on caffeine just to function?
Focus
Can you complete tasks efficiently?
Do you feel scattered, distracted, or forgetful?
Cravings
Are you constantly reaching for sugar, carbs, or salty snacks?
Are you eating for comfort or stimulation, not out of hunger?
Recovery from Workouts
Are you sore for days longer than usual?
Is your motivation or performance declining?
Does a workout energize or deplete you?
Irritability or Reactivity
Are you more reactive than usual, especially to things that wouldn’t normally bother you? (This one can be tricky, especially if you are in peri-menopause. I know that the hormone fluctuations created a shorter fuse than I normally have.)
Do you feel like you’re always “at capacity,” with no margin left?
Remember:
If any of these are off, it’s not a willpower problem. It’s not that you’re lazy or broken.
It’s your body waving a red flag, saying: “I can’t keep going like this.”
Stress management isn’t about doing less. It’s about being more strategic.
This isn’t about dropping your ambition. It’s about learning to spend your energy wisely, so that what matters most gets the best of you, not the rest of you.
When you start paying attention to how stress shows up and how your body communicates it, you move from reactive mode to responsive leadership, in your work, in your home, and in your health.
Start With the Dials, Not the Switches
I have taken several courses with Precision Nutrition, and the Sleep, Stress, and Recovery Certification teaches us not to rely on "on-off switches" to go hard or give up, but to treat change like adjusting a dial. This mental model works especially well for high achievers who struggle with all-or-nothing thinking. I have some good exercises to address the all-or-nothing mentality.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You need to dial up the habits that regulate your nervous system and dial down the ones that drain it.
Try this:
Sleep Dial: Can’t get 8 hours? Start with consistent wake and wind-down times. I have a very consistent bedtime and routine with consistent wake times. This practice is particularly helpful for me.
Nutrition Dial: Can’t cook every meal? Just prioritize protein and fiber at lunch. (Women need about 30g of fiber/day)
Movement Dial: Can’t hit the gym? Walk during calls or stretch between meetings. (Walking is one of the most underrated forms of movement…. in fact, I am walking on my walk pad right now as I write this blog.)
Recovery Dial: Can’t meditate for 20 minutes? Try 2 minutes of box breathing before your next Zoom. (I don’t meditate… I do, however, practice box breathing, and I lean into my creative side and give myself that outlet whenever I need my nervous system to move stress out of my body.)
The goal isn’t perfection; it’s better. A little better, consistently, beats extreme effort in short bursts every time.
Design Recovery Into Your Day (Not Just Vacations)
High performers often neglect recovery because it doesn’t feel “productive.” But recovery is the foundation of high performance. Use recovery as a daily practice, not a reward. Recovery doesn’t mean sedentary, by the way.
Three recovery systems to prioritize:
1. Physiological Recovery
Sleep: Aim for 7–9 hours. Non-negotiable.
Nutrition: Eat balanced meals to reduce stress-induced blood sugar spikes.
Hydration: Start your day with water before caffeine.
Movement: Build in low-intensity activity, daily walks, mobility, and stretching.
2. Cognitive Recovery
Stop multitasking. It creates mental fatigue and raises cortisol. Plus, multitasking has been disproven… we cannot do it.
Set boundaries with work emails after hours.
Use transition rituals to shift from work mode to personal time.
For Example: After work → Before home responsibilities:
Change clothes or shoes when you get home to signal a mental shift
Light a candle and take 3 deep breaths while repeating a grounding mantra like “I’m allowed to slow down now.”
Take a 5-minute walk or stretch before re-engaging with family or evening tasks
3. Emotional Recovery
Talk it out: Suppressed emotions create chronic stress. I see a therapist biweekly for my mental and emotional practice.
Practice gratitude or journaling to reframe stress.
Name your stressors instead of numbing out.
Recovery doesn’t mean slowing down your ambition. It means fueling it more sustainably.
Build a Stress-Resilient Identity (Not Just Better Habits)
Behavior change that sticks happens when it aligns with your values and identity. Where this gets tricky for me is that one of my top two core values is achievement…
Instead of saying, “I want to reduce stress,” try: “I am a leader who protects her energy so she can show up with impact.”
Build Your “Resilient Identity”:
Identify 2–3 values (e.g., impact, growth, connection).
Ask: How does stress sabotage my ability to live these values?
Reframe habits as identity statements:
“I go to bed on time because I value clarity and presence.”
“I take walking breaks because I’m a grounded leader.”
“I set boundaries because I honor my health.”
When stress management becomes a reflection of who you are, not just what you’re trying to do, it becomes non-negotiable. I help my clients build non-negotiables into their lives.
Skill Stack Your Way to Change
Trying to do it all at once leads to burnout. Part of my coaching practice is to help clients stack skills gradually so they build confidence and momentum. After all, momentum isn’t just about progress; it’s emotional fuel. When you see how far you’ve come, rather than fixating on how far you still have to go, you create a sense of forward motion that builds motivation, resilience, and self-trust. That’s what makes momentum one of the most powerful emotional forces for lasting change.
Let’s stack three core Sleep Stress & Recovery skills in order:
1. Nervous System Regulation:
Daily 2-Minute Breathwork or a Short Body Scan
Why it works:
This skill helps regulate cortisol (your body’s main stress hormone), calms the fight-or-flight response, and increases your focus and clarity. Just a couple of minutes of intentional breathing can shift your nervous system from a reactive state into a responsive one, giving you back control in the middle of a stressful day.
How to Practice 2-Minute Breathwork:
This is not meditation. It’s nervous system regulation in its simplest form.
Try this exercise:
Sit or stand in a comfortable position.
Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4.
Exhale gently through your mouth for a count of 6 (longer exhale signals the parasympathetic nervous system to activate).
Repeat for 10 slow breaths, which takes just about 2 minutes.
Helpful tips:
Place one hand on your belly and one on your chest. Focus on making the hand on your belly rise first with each inhale. This encourages diaphragmatic (deep) breathing.
If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the rhythm of your breath. This isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about showing up.
How to Practice a Short Body Scan:
This is great if you’re feeling physically tense or mentally scattered.
Try this 2-minute scan:
Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
Take one slow breath in and out.
Starting at the crown of your head, slowly bring your attention down through your body:
Forehead… jaw… neck and shoulders… arms… chest… stomach… hips… legs… feet.
At each area, pause and notice any tension or sensation, without trying to change it.
If you find tension, breathe into that spot and imagine it softening with each exhale.
When to Use These Skills:
Right before a stressful meeting or presentation
Between back-to-back tasks, to reset your focus
After a conflict or emotional trigger
Before bed to unwind
As a transition ritual between work and personal time
These tools are simple, accessible, and incredibly powerful, especially for high performers who are used to pushing through stress without pausing. When done consistently, they help you feel more grounded, focused, and in control, without needing to “do more.”
2. Sleep Hygiene
Skill: Create a Calming Pre-Bed Ritual
Why it works:
It helps your body shift from stress to rest by signaling to your brain that the day is done, and it’s safe to downshift. A consistent nighttime routine improves your ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake feeling more restored.
What Is Sleep Hygiene (and Why Should You Care)?
Sleep hygiene refers to the set of habits, behaviors, and environmental factors that influence the quality of your sleep. Just like oral hygiene supports dental health, sleep hygiene supports restorative, high-quality sleep, which is the foundation of recovery, hormonal regulation, cognitive clarity, and emotional resilience.
Many high-achieving women treat sleep as a passive activity or a luxury, something they squeeze in if they have time. But in reality, sleep is a leadership tool. It’s what allows you to show up with focus, composure, and energy the next day. It took me a few months to learn how to sleep well.
Poor sleep hygiene leads to:
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Racing thoughts at night
Morning grogginess
Increased cravings and blood sugar fluctuations
Reduced focus and resilience the next day
How to Build the Skill: Create a Calming Pre-Bed Ritual
A calming pre-bed ritual helps you shift gears from go-mode to rest-mode. It doesn’t have to be long or elaborate, but it does need to be consistent so your body knows what’s coming.
Try this 20–30 minute ritual:
1. Dim the lights
Start turning off overhead lighting and using soft, ambient light 30–60 minutes before bed. This signals to your brain that it’s time to produce melatonin (your natural sleep hormone).
2. Avoid screens
Shut down phones, laptops, and TVs, or use blue light filters, at least 30 minutes before bed. The stimulation and light exposure delay melatonin release and keep your brain alert.
3. Stretch or do gentle mobility
Simple, slow movements help release tension stored in your body throughout the day. A few minutes of gentle stretching or yoga can be more powerful than you think.
4. Journal or do a “brain dump”
Spend 5 minutes writing down anything that’s lingering in your mind, tomorrow’s to-dos, unresolved thoughts, worries. This helps your brain “close tabs” and reduces racing thoughts when your head hits the pillow.
5. Choose one calming anchor
This could be:
Listening to a guided meditation or sleep sounds. I listen to rain sounds.
Reading a physical book
Taking a warm shower or using calming essential oils. I am a fan of hot showers.
Pro Tip for High Achievers:
Don’t expect to feel tired right away. This is about teaching your brain and body a predictable sequence. The benefit builds over time. You're not just preparing for sleep tonight; you're training your nervous system for rest long-term. Be patient and consistent with your practice. It takes time to develop a new skill.
3. Time Protection
Skill: Set 1–2 Boundaries in Your Schedule
Why it works:
Time protection helps you reclaim energy, reduce cognitive overload, and prevent the slow burnout that comes from always being “on.” It’s not about doing less; it’s about making space for what matters most, including your own recovery and peace of mind.
What Is Time Protection (and Why Does It Matter)?
Time protection means being intentional about what you allow into your day, and when. It’s the skill of drawing healthy boundaries with your time so you’re not constantly reactive, overscheduled, or resentful.
For high-achieving women, this can be especially challenging. You may feel like:
You’re responsible for everything
Your value is tied to your productivity
There’s never enough time to rest, let alone reflect
But here's the truth: Your calendar is a mirror of your values. If there’s never time for you, it’s not just an issue of logistics; it’s an issue of boundaries. When your day is crammed with meetings, emails, errands, and everyone else’s priorities, you end up operating from depletion, not intention. Time protection is how you start shifting that.
How to Build the Skill: Set 1–2 Boundaries in Your Schedule
Start small. The goal isn’t to create a perfectly balanced calendar overnight. It’s to reclaim just enough space to feel more grounded, clear, and in control.
Try this approach:
1. Pick one “non-negotiable” recovery window
Choose a 30-minute window during the day that is only for you, not your team, not your inbox, not your errands.
Some ideas:
Midday reset: Walk outside, eat lunch without multitasking, or simply sit quietly.
Post-work transition: A walk, stretching, or journaling to decompress before reengaging with your family or evening.
Morning intention time: Read, breathe, or reflect before diving into reactive tasks.
Put it on your calendar like any other important meeting, because it is.
2. Say no to one thing this week that drains you
Time protection isn’t just about what you add; it’s also about what you remove.
Some examples:
Declining a meeting that doesn’t need you
Saying no to a social invite that feels more like an obligation
Delegating or deferring a non-urgent task
If “no” feels too hard, try:
“I’m not available for that right now.”
“I can revisit this next week.”
“Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m at capacity.”
3. Protect white space as fiercely as you protect deadlines
White space isn't wasted time. It’s where you think, recover, and return to yourself. Without it, you're just reacting. With it, you're leading with intention and clarity.
Why This Matters for Stress Management:
Creating space in your day isn’t just a luxury. It’s essential for regulating your nervous system. When you’re constantly busy, your body stays in a low-grade state of stress that slowly chips away at your energy, focus, and resilience. Time protection gives your brain and body the signal that it’s safe to downshift, helping reduce cortisol, restore clarity, and support emotional well-being. You don’t need a 3-day weekend to recover. You just need a few minutes of space, claimed with purpose. And when you learn to protect that time? You protect your peace, your presence, and your long-term performance.
Take the First Step. It’s Smaller Than You Think
I know you're busy. I know your to-do list is longer than your available hours. But the first step isn’t another massive task, it’s permission to start small and be consistent.
Today, try this:
Breathe for 2 minutes between meetings.
Add protein and fiber to one meal.
Journal a quick reflection: “What’s draining me right now?”
Choose one task to say “not today” to and honor that boundary.
This isn’t about giving up your drive. It’s about protecting it.
You Don’t Have to White-Knuckle Your Way to Wellness
You didn’t become successful by being careless. You’ve done the hard things. You’ve led, achieved, and performed at a high level. But stress isn’t something to conquer, it’s something to listen to. When you learn to regulate your stress, not ignore it, you gain access to more clarity, calm, and creativity. You stop reacting and start responding. You stop draining and start replenishing.
You don’t need to do it all. You need to do what matters most. And that starts with you.
If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your way through stress, I’m here to help.
Give me a call or text at 904-504-9894 to learn how I coach executive women through real-life strategies that fit their lifestyle, values, and goals. Let’s build a system that protects your energy and supports the woman you’re becoming.